The girl knew the guy did not do anything wrong. However, she couldn't help but feel heartbroken after they broke, she felt so painful that she said things she didn't mean to the guy. She was disappointed on how they ended she started to question the value of their relationship. Was it so easy for the guy to give it up? The girl understood it was the end of it. She just wanted to linger on it as long as she can.
The guy always gave more than he took in this relationship.
The girl went through the whole relationship from its very beginning and realised that the guy was a positive influence and she learnt a lot from him. The relationship will be preserved and put in a special place. She hopes the guy will do the same.
Tuesday, August 13, 2013
The Second Year After She Left
Things became a little bit complicated in the second year. The girl was less than a good girlfriend. She often compliant about the guy's non existent plan to hong kong. She was annoyed by repetitively being asked about her day. She knew she was wrong and she always felt bad about losing her temper. She knew that she was damaging their relationship yet she didnt know what she could do to repair it. At that time, the girl still love the guy very much. They still shared many common interests and views. But its difficult to be inseparable when two people were separated by time and distance. It is difficult to be understanding when they were both facing difficulties in their workplaces and in other aspects in life.
Being mature and responsible means getting the right things done. They both struggled in identifying the right things and getting them done. They are living in two completely different environments. Their lives are diverging with no overlap.
Yet the girl did not want to give up. What she has written on this blog does not reflect the full picture of her relationship. Her relationship with him was far more than that. It was something that she wanted to retain at any cost. So precious that she did not want to give it up even there were compelling reasons show that they should break.
It hurt her so much when he decided to end the relationship she had been holding tightly.
She tried to calm down and hide from any thing or moment which reminds her of him. She succeeded at first until she realized that she would forget about the substances of this relationship if she continues to neglect those substances. Having all the details and substances of the relationship in mind pains her so much. But she did not want to let any bit go. She knew things she values so much today will lose their value with time increases.
The guy had been treating her well. He tried very hard to maintain their relationship. It was not easy for him to do most of the work in this relationship. He wrote letter to the girl every week, composed poem to her in 100 consecutive days,he was always supportive and cheerful, he always tolerate the girl’s outbursts and he did everything to show his love and care. The girl knew those things all along.
Being mature and responsible means getting the right things done. They both struggled in identifying the right things and getting them done. They are living in two completely different environments. Their lives are diverging with no overlap.
Yet the girl did not want to give up. What she has written on this blog does not reflect the full picture of her relationship. Her relationship with him was far more than that. It was something that she wanted to retain at any cost. So precious that she did not want to give it up even there were compelling reasons show that they should break.
It hurt her so much when he decided to end the relationship she had been holding tightly.
She tried to calm down and hide from any thing or moment which reminds her of him. She succeeded at first until she realized that she would forget about the substances of this relationship if she continues to neglect those substances. Having all the details and substances of the relationship in mind pains her so much. But she did not want to let any bit go. She knew things she values so much today will lose their value with time increases.
The guy had been treating her well. He tried very hard to maintain their relationship. It was not easy for him to do most of the work in this relationship. He wrote letter to the girl every week, composed poem to her in 100 consecutive days,he was always supportive and cheerful, he always tolerate the girl’s outbursts and he did everything to show his love and care. The girl knew those things all along.
After She Left
She left Melbourne reluctantly to Hong Kong. She had no idea how they would continue their relationship, nor did she know where their relationship was heading. They tried very hard to keep each other close and share every bit in their lives with each other. They were confident and full of faith. The guy wrote letter to the girl every week without exception. They also spent quality time on phone and on msn everyday. They trusted each other and knew there was a special place for them both in their hearts. The guy was still in his final year of Laws in melbourne when the girl started working and taking exams. The differences in their lives are not too many, not too big at first.
Before She Left
Almost three years ago when they were both university students. The guy and the girl met the first time in the last tutorial of a subject. It was a warm afternoon in Melbourne. Soon after that, they went on a date. It wasnt exactly a date according to the girl. It was too spontaneous, too comfortable and too extraordinary comparing to a date. The girl saw many good qualities in the guy on the first date. To start off, the guy was gentle and kind. He would listen to stranger on the street patiently. He was also fun and flexible. They went to various places, ranging from cinema to video store, first hand book shop to second hand book shop. They walked around the shopping mall for several times without feeling bored of it. The guy was also smart and knowledgeable. The girl could tell from their conversations. Unavoidably, she crushed on the guy immediately on the first date.
And it was her first crush.
On their third date, the guy took the girl to a bar called Robot and they started the relationship. It was too quick for the girl. The girl didnt see that coming and there were many unanswered questions and unresolved issues. For instance,
1) What does he see in her?
2) Does he know that we have cultural differences? and how do we solve it?
3) Is he serious?
4) Is it too fast?
etc
The girl was very happy about the starting-a-relationship idea though. She might not know the answers to the above questions. All she knew was she really liked the guy and really enjoyed being with him.
It was a quick start followed by months of heating up. They knew each other better and better as time increases. After almost a year, the girl realized that she didn't like the guy, instead she loved the guy, the guy who handed out roses with her to strangers on rainy day, the guy who suddenly showed up with coffee early in the morning, the guy who taught her many new things and opened her eyes, the guy who was so patient and kind to his students, family members and friends... There are whole lot more reasons to be told...
But she had to leave Melbourne for good.
And it was her first crush.
On their third date, the guy took the girl to a bar called Robot and they started the relationship. It was too quick for the girl. The girl didnt see that coming and there were many unanswered questions and unresolved issues. For instance,
1) What does he see in her?
2) Does he know that we have cultural differences? and how do we solve it?
3) Is he serious?
4) Is it too fast?
etc
The girl was very happy about the starting-a-relationship idea though. She might not know the answers to the above questions. All she knew was she really liked the guy and really enjoyed being with him.
It was a quick start followed by months of heating up. They knew each other better and better as time increases. After almost a year, the girl realized that she didn't like the guy, instead she loved the guy, the guy who handed out roses with her to strangers on rainy day, the guy who suddenly showed up with coffee early in the morning, the guy who taught her many new things and opened her eyes, the guy who was so patient and kind to his students, family members and friends... There are whole lot more reasons to be told...
But she had to leave Melbourne for good.
Monday, August 12, 2013
The End of the Beginning
It happened on a random day of a random week, they decided and agreed to break. Maybe it was because of the distance, maybe it was because of being tied to a person whom they dont share a future with. Maybe they were both very tired from all the difficulties in life. Maybe they felt guilty for not offering their best effort in maintaining the relationship.
Anyway, they broke.
The girl went through cycles of trying to forget and savoring the past in the past one and a half month. She understood the reason of the break yet she did not want to accept it. As the break is the living evidence of the death of something she cherishes. To her, the guy is the best boyfriend in the world and he is the only person she invited into her world. To her, it was more than a relationship she had with the guy. She cherishes every detail of it.
It was, and still is, painful for both of them. After all, there were a lot to give up. Not only they will have to accept the fact that they will go on different journeys,they will also have to let go all the beautiful memories they made together. Living on with those beautiful memories without each other's presence is beyond painful. Even they intend to keep those memories. The feeling and the nature of those memories will be changed with time.
No feelings and memories can last forever. The girl knows it very well and she wants to do this relationship justice by preserving the truth before the substances in this relationship fade away.
The girl decided to stretch out as far as she can to grab as many feelings and thoughts as possible before their feelings turn sour and they turn away from each other.
All she needs is to mourn over the end of a phase.
Anyway, they broke.
The girl went through cycles of trying to forget and savoring the past in the past one and a half month. She understood the reason of the break yet she did not want to accept it. As the break is the living evidence of the death of something she cherishes. To her, the guy is the best boyfriend in the world and he is the only person she invited into her world. To her, it was more than a relationship she had with the guy. She cherishes every detail of it.
It was, and still is, painful for both of them. After all, there were a lot to give up. Not only they will have to accept the fact that they will go on different journeys,they will also have to let go all the beautiful memories they made together. Living on with those beautiful memories without each other's presence is beyond painful. Even they intend to keep those memories. The feeling and the nature of those memories will be changed with time.
No feelings and memories can last forever. The girl knows it very well and she wants to do this relationship justice by preserving the truth before the substances in this relationship fade away.
The girl decided to stretch out as far as she can to grab as many feelings and thoughts as possible before their feelings turn sour and they turn away from each other.
All she needs is to mourn over the end of a phase.
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Monday, July 11, 2011
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